Not in the Manual: Where Humor and High Strangeness Meet

The work of a UFO investigator can be interesting and exciting, but the antics and shenanigans are literally out of this world. Join me as I delve deep into my ridiculous personal experiences and case files dealing with ufologists, paranormal investigators, and witnesses; this is the stuff that’s not in the manual.


Modern day Ufologists know that Facebook is an essential tool for the study of UFOs. It connects you to hundreds of people in the field for support and resources. It is also a den of stupidity, lunacy, and utter madness. As Old Ben Kenobi tells us, “We must be cautious.”

Connecting with other investigators over Facebook is essential as it often yields links to articles, websites, and tidbits of news that can provide a pretty well rounded education–however, what the manual doesn’t teach you is how to engage “the believers.”

For those who need clarification, “the believers” are those who have left logic and reason behind. They fanatically and religiously believe that extraterrestrials are not only visiting Earth, but also are involved in abductions, open communication, and a whole bunch of other wild stuff. In simple terms, with no evidence to support their claims, the aliens are here and they are interacting with people.

I posted a blog article about sleep paralysis and that the psychological condition could be a viable explanation for a lot of people’s abduction experiences; if not the most reasonable reason people have these strange experiences. It did not go well. In fact, I was literally cursed by a stranger. Not cursed at, he literally cursed me.

After the post came out, a long Facebook battle erupted. It went back and forth. As the author, I decided to intervene. I’ve cleaned up the spelling and grammar issues that occurred during this whole episode. I assure you, neither of us was using the Queen’s English during this encounter.

“I’m not suggesting you didn’t have your abduction experience. I believe that you experienced something. I’m just positing the hypothesis that your experiences, and many other people’s experiences, are not alien, but rather something that occurred within the mind. Can you rule that out?”

The response,

“F*ck you! I know what happened to me was real! You think science can explain everything! I have witnesses that saw it happen.”

I should have walked away. Nope.

“You have witnesses? People actually watched you get abducted?”

Response,

“I don’t have explain this to you. You don’t believe so it doesn’t matter. You think you are right and won’t listen to reason.”

My response,

“I’m proposing a scientifically studied and understood phenomenon to explain why some people think they are being abducted. My hypothesis is based in reason. Yours has no evidence to support it. If you have witnesses, I’d love to hear their version of what happened to you.”

And here it comes,

“I’m done with this. You know what, I hope you get abducted. I hope it happens to you Mr. Science guy.”

The conversation, or at least my role in it, ended there. I began to panic. What if it does happen? What if I get picked up one night, taken aboard some dark Cahill-esque ship with red-eyed beings, and get my innards scooped?

It hasn’t happened yet.

Belief is a strong fixed mindset. Many of the “believers” I’ve met are very nice and kind. I love listening to their stories and they love telling them. They will often start by saying things like, “I can’t prove this, but I believe it.” Great! No problem. I will listen to your story and respect it, because you respect the fact that you can’t prove it.

However, there are “believers” that are very aggressive and hostile. My advice, which is not in any manual, when dealing with the “believer” culture is, “DO NOT ENGAGE!”

They are like the Reavers from Firefly–driven mad by living in the fringes of the ‘verse. You cannot reason with them. You will meet many of these people in this field, both in the digital landscape and in the real world. When they begin to speak, you will smile and nod. You will say, “Wow, really? That’s intense man . . .” a lot. Never ask for evidence. Never.